So confused...?

iv been seeing and living with my boyfriend for almost 5 months now. and im really falling for him. he's ten years older than me.... no baggage though. a few weeks ago we had a bit of a rough patch and we got through it, though on and off weve been kind of out of sync with each other, but i put it down to both of us being stressed with other problems ie work.. i really thought he loved me. we havnt uttered the words i love you to each other yet, tho i get alot of "i love your funny faces" and things like that.... and also he tells me he wakes up thinking about me every morning and that he thinks about me all the time. then last night (on msn of all places) he starts telling me that hes really scared of committing to me that hes terrified of falling in love again , and that he doesnt think he loves me. so in complete shock i decide its time to move out, torn completely. this morning he tells me that he wants to see how he feels while hes away. wants to try and work it out when hes back

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Hi, you know what, the age gap does make a difference (but don't take it as if i am saying it can't work). To you at 20yrs old and a few of the people who have answered 5months seems like ages and you feel commited, but i think for your man at 30ish having, i imagine, been through a few relationships 5 months may feel like just enough time to be getting to know you and starting to try and work out whether it is something more...

also to already be living with each other at 5 months is pretty fast moving and sometimes it can be simply the pressure of that which makes someone feel like they need space.

i am happily in a wonderful relationship now but many years ago i threw away a beautiful relationship with a man i was living with because he told me he needed space, i thought it was rejection and walked out on him whilst he was away never giving him a chance to talk to me...only years later did i find out from one of his friends from back home that i had broken his heart and he never wanted to leave just some space for us both...

you need to talk to your man, you obviously really love him and you know what, time is on your side, you could hang out another few months giving him the time to take some space and know that you had tried to see if the relationship worked and if it didn't you still have your life ahead of you.

i think from how you talk about him already it isn't going to get much more painful to break up in a few months than it would be now so you lose nothing by trying to work things out.

love is important in relationships, but in my experience, honesty and communication are just as needed.

give him a chance, but be clear that you aren't going to hang about forever and what the boundaries are.

good luck sweetie,

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He's playing wit ur emotions dump him...
Sorry to be harsh, but he shouldn't need time apart from you if he really loved you. If you are happy to wait for him then do so, but if you're not comfortable with it, then you have to cut ties and move on. There will be someone out there who will cherish, nurture and love you as you deserve.
Sounds like you're both living together but ready to bolt for the door at a moment's notice.

Must be serious.

These things sometimes take time to work out.

Be patient.
He obviously does care for you or your relationship wouldnt have got as far as it is has. You need to tell him you want to kw where you stand if he doesnt want to committ you need to be strong and leave him and i kw it will be really hard for you to do but theres no point hangin on to sum1 who doesnt love you/
Going by what you say obviously he has been in love before and is afraid to commit, it either is the truth or he is just looking a way out, maybe some time apart could do the two of you the world of good if you dont want this then ask for more information about past love honestly he cant see you the same as past love he must trust you some bit because you live together i fear it is his way out excuse. look you are very young dont throw your life away by waiting there are more fish in the sea.
Bless you. I know what its like believe me. Mixed signals really screw you up. If he's willing to talk you need to sit down face to face and ask him to be frank, however much it hurts, as better to find out now than live a lie. Good luck. Hope it works out.
I think he doesn't love you. He loves no one but himself. Forget him. Get a life. He is not worth your time and love.
Hi CJ,

If he loves you the way you love him then he would commit to you if he does not want to commit then im afraid you have two choices send him to he wall or live with it hope you get sorted .
Your right only you can answer that question, however I have been in the same kind of situation and I think it best that you walk away and get on with your life. If it's meant to be it will be. I think he probably is scared however you can't put your life on hold. I did and I ended up in a right mess. So my advice is don't wait for him, you could be waiting a long time and then see what happens. Good luck love.xxxxxxx
I hate to say this but after 5 months he should have some idea if he sees his future with you or not, don't let him play with your head because that's just what he is doing,He should be man enough to tell you about his feelings face to face and not by e-mail.
love is always hard only you yourself will no what to do people can give you there ideas but its you that has to live with it only time will tell go with your Mind not the Heart
You need to keep busy

he needs his space to see if he's ready to commit to another relationship

if not you still have your life and him as a friend

and perhaps cupid's not that far away

:O)
you are too young to be tied to a older man--he just needs someone to be there when he comes home--take off your rose tinted glasses--go out with your friends and enjoy yourself. good luck.
I honestly don't think anyone is going go give you the right answer to your problem. In my own experience I feel blokes can play around in your head if you're not careful. Sometimes it dosn't do to put your whole heart into a relationship because then they no exactly what button to push - ie. see how he reacted when you said you were off. Just play it cool for a while (even tho u think yes he is the one for me). Why not instead of worrying yourself sick whether its going to end or not and wondering what the heck you'll do if it does, take your own time, ask yourself "is this guy for me?" ........ u b the one who is making the decision...not him. You need to b more than sure yourself whether he's the guy for u. Good luck.
I'm confused he's in one country you're in another yet you live together? i would not have moved in with someone who i had only know for 5 months and especially with someone who had not told me he loved me. how desperate are you? dump him and forget it he sounds like a pillock. find yourself another fella who will be truthful to you, hard to find i know but they do exist. don't just throw yourself at any old tom, dick or harry. good luck to you xx